88th days

21/4/2016 7:50 PM
21/4/2016 9:27 PM

Hii, it's me again darren yo. How is your day? Seriously i can't concentrate with so many friend same class with me lol. Don't know why, when i saw you today i feel abit down. The exact same feeling when you left me. So after so long the pain is still here, i'm not sure why also it just doesn't feels good. Good to see you around sometimes it's fate for meeting you i guess, my class is not somewhere near e canteen then hy jio us go but end up he never come. I know i'm not your who already but here's a advice, don't wear that pants again lel, i mean it's so short i can almost see your butt cheek already. Trust me i'm just a guy, a somewhat pervert guy HAHA eventhou we're completely stranger now i guess but i don't wan guys to look at you in a negative way. Just don't =3=. Sometimes i really admire my observation skills, i do observe everything around me so clearly. Disclaimer : I'm not being pervert here but i just don't want people to look at you that way, sometimes i just feels like protecting you but i couldn't. But anyway, i'm a stranger, my word is no longer mean anything to you, i hope you get what i mean. For your goods. I have to admit that i miss you, but what can i do? I'm no longer the one for you anymore. You began to drifting away from me, i hate that but i have to accept the fact, again nothing i can do anymore. I only hope to be able to see you everyday because i don't have much time left. Time passes so fast, soon i'll be gone, this time when i'm gone, probably will be the last time i get to see you.

Everyone tell me to give up, even james bay also call me to let it go. When i told someone what exactly happen and what i feel, look what he replied? Hugging an cactus? i have to tell you so many times that i'm not afraid of pain unless the thorns hits my heart then i died. I just can't believe what happened. That day hy saw u then tell me eh darren ur gf, i smile and told him *i hope she's mine, man* then he faster change topic lol. Why does everyone telling me to give up and move on? is it just me or am i too over? over-loving someone. Remember in my previous post i says 爱情是个梦而我睡过头, i guess that's what i am currently. What is the chances of you coming back to me? 0.1% or even lesser 0.069%? Don't tell me 0% yet, don't set me death sentence on me just yet. I won't give up so easily.

The Tony Rich Project - Nobody Knows
*

Wish I'd told her how I felt, then maybe she'd be here right now, but
Instead

I pretended I'm glad you went away
These four walls closing more everyday
And I'm dyin' inside
And nobody knows it but me
Like a clown I put on a show
The pain is real even if nobody knows
And I'm cryin' inside
And nobody knows it but me
Why didn't I say, the things I needed to say
How could I let my angel get away
Now my world is just a tumblin' down

I can say it so clearly, but you're nowhere around
The nights are lonely, the days are so sad
And I just keep thinkin' about the love that we had
And I'm missin' you
And nobody know it but me
I carry a smile when I'm broken in two
And I'm nobody without someone like you

How blue can I get, you could ask my heart
But like a jigsaw puzzle it's been torn all apart
A million words couldn't say just how I feel
A million years from now you know I'll be lovin' you still
The nights are lonely the days are so sad
And I just keep thinkin' about the love that we had
And I'm missin' you
And nobody knows it but me
*
I was a trash in the dumpster, you picked me up without giving me the cold shoulder. 4 years ago i fell in love with you, 4 years later i lost you but i'm still in love with you. Sometimes i felt like i'm going crazy over you, i don't want to look so weak in front of you, i faked smiles. Seriously i can't get over the pain of losing you, tried almost everything from training to drinking to smoking, nothing works. Sometimes i hate myself for who am i and what am i. Annabelle and Cedric, they broke up. Still saw them going to school together even with laughter. I really admire people sometimes. I though i'm rich but actually i'm so poor, look at what i have, probably more than what a 20 years old boy should have until i take a look around myself from a different angle, other than some little stuff what do i have? how long since i hang out with my friend? a month or two? how many is my friend? 3? actually i'm poor af. Chinese saying poor until left with money, not saying i'm somewhat rich. I used to think money is important but now? i don't want someone who eat atas food with me, i want the one who don't mind eating mac 3 days a week with me. I admit i'm such a failure in this age. If i didn't choose to wait, will things wouldn't be this hard? will things be easier if it isn't me? If i told you how i feel earlier when i got the chance will i be this down today? I have so many question remain unsolved. Sometimes i just wanna know the truth, but the truth hurts. I hope you know how much i love you.

Been thinking of ideas to write today's post since this noon when i'm at school today, can't concentrate at all. Seriously HR management is just not my things, i should enroll to human relationship management module haha. Well, i give in quite a lot of effort in today's post, hope you will atlease read it until here, if you read until here then thank you meaning my effort is not wasted haha. Sometimes i wonder, what will you feel when my name crossed your mind. BTW recently i keep saw a bus with Nick Vujicic ads, remembering last time my mom told me got someone call nick vuJICIc, he's a handicapped person but he's very successful then i ask him should i be handicap in order to be successful haha back when i was still young didn't know much and like to talk cock hahaha. Sometimes i just can't believe that you left me =3= still can't accept the truth. Okay i'll publish this one earlier than usual so you won't have to check back so often. Trust me my love is real. Goodnight to you first and i love you. Goodnight #27.

NEVA GIFF UP! ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ 

COUNTING DOWN 1037/1095 DAYS